Eru The Babysitter
by M0R0N
Summary: Eru becomes a babysitter for Elflings
1. Getting started

Eru the Babysitter:  
  
The Business starts  
  
Eru sat on his throne, being bored. Ever since he created the Valar, there was  
  
nothing to do. All the Elves paid tribute to them instead of him, so he was broke too.  
  
He needed a job.  
  
Yes, he would become a babysitter. There are definitely a lot of Elfings that  
  
needed someone to watch them while their mommies and daddies went to PG-13 movies.  
  
But which ones? Well, there's Cirdan, Gil-galad, Earendil, Glorfindel, Erestor, Galadriel,  
  
Celeborn, Oropher, Feanor, Fingolfin, Finarfin...  
  
Eru could already smell the money. He decided to start right away. Immediately,  
  
he printed out ads for his new business. How hard could watching a few Elfings be  
  
anyways? He would just use his godliness stuff on them. As soon as he was done  
  
making the ads, he looked for his tape. They were the strongest tape in all of Arda and  
  
Valinor. He found them under a millennia-old pile of laundry. Note to self #1-When  
  
incredibly rich, hire a maid. He posted his ads everywhere. On trees, by gates, under  
  
desks, and in front of people's faces, just to make sure people could see them. When he  
  
was done with his first stack, he noticed he didn't have any more paper to print them out  
  
on. Note to self #2-When incredibly rich, buy more paper.  
  
Eru sat himself back on his throne and waited for calls. An hour, two hours,  
  
three, four, five...then he realized he didn't put his phone number on the ads. With that,  
  
he went to collect all of his ads back.  
  
"I can't believe I was so stupid. The troubles I go through to earn a few dollars."  
  
When he finally sat back on his throne after hours of taking up ads, he realized that he  
  
didn't have a phone. Note to self #3-When incredibly rich, buy a phone.  
  
TBC...  
  
Reviews? * points at indigo-looking button * * smiles * 


	2. Cirdan

Thoughts in ' '  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *  
  
Eru knocked on the door. Tonight, he would be babysitting Cirdan. After finally  
  
setting up the fliers correctly, he got a loan from the First National Bank of the Valar.  
  
The Valar had refused to not charge him interest and that just because he created them  
  
didn't mean anything. Eru was very very angry. But he decided just to take the loan and  
  
bought a phone. His new phone number was 1-800-Call-This-Number-To-Have- Eru-  
  
The- One-Also-Known-As-Illuvatar-Babysit-Elflings-For-As-Long-As-You-Want- As-  
  
Long-As-You-Pay-Him. Needless to say, Cirdan's parents had a hard time dialing the  
  
number. They opened the door for Eru and told him about all of Cirdan's "needs".  
  
"Cirdan doesn't like strangers, but he has a weird obsession with boats of any kind. Even the ones at the park," said Cirdan's dad.  
  
"What does he eat?" Eru asked.  
  
"He likes chocolate ice cream with boat-shaped sprinkles," answered Cirdan's mom.  
  
"And what time should he be in bed?"  
  
"At about 8:45."  
  
"Well, we really should get going. Watch him closely, he tends to disappear a lot." With that, they stepped outside. 'Now where is little devil?' He found Cirdan playing with about twenty boat models.  
  
"Ok kid, here's the deal. You do what I say, and no one gets hurt. Ok?" Eru said in his mostly godly voice. Cirdan stared at him for a while before throwing his biggest model at Eru. He immediately screamed from the moment the boat connected with his forehead. Eru had a huge bump on his forehead from that.  
  
Cirdan took the chance to run out of the playroom and into the kitchen. Eru headed into the bathroom and started to look for some ointments for the bump. He found something and quickly rubbed it on. But he didn't know that what he used was really shaving cream. 'Why do they have shaving cream? They're Elves!'  
  
Cirdan opened the icebox (they have phones, but no freezers) and found his favorite food-chocolate ice cream. He started to eat right from the gallon but decided he needed boat-shaped sprinkles. Just then, Eru came into the kitchen. He still had some shaving cream of his forehead.  
  
Eru made a grad for Cirdan, but he jumped out of the way and Eru's head fell into the gallon of ice cream. Cirdan laughed and ran off. 'He'll never find me in my room!' Eru's face emerged from the carton covered in ice cream. Once again, he headed towards the bathroom.  
  
Cirdan hid under his bed with one of his favorite boats-the one he had thrown at Eru.  
  
"We won't let that mean god person catch us, boaty."  
  
Downstairs, Eru had just finished washing his face. He started to look for Cirdan. As time went by, he started to panic. 'What if the brat ran away?' He heard to doorbell ring. 'O crap'  
  
Slowly, he made his way to the door and opened it. Cirdan's parents were back.  
  
"So, did he behave?" Cirdan's mom asked. Eru wanted to scream NOOOOO!!!!, but decided that would make him look bad.  
  
"Yeah, he's in his room right now. Well I better get going," Eru started to walk out of the door.  
  
"Are you sure you don't want to stay for a while longer?"  
  
"I'm fine, really."  
  
As soon as Eru got back to his godly abode, he figured out that he forgot to get his  
  
pay. Note to self #4-remember the money.  
  
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *  
  
Please review? 


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